Waiting In Vegas

I have previously touched on the subject of passive aggressive notes being left on the table after a guest leaves. Today Divine received such a note, after she had already withstood a verbal tongue-lashing from a guest.

Something you should know if you have IBS or some kind of urine retention problem:
MOST casino restaurants don’t have bathrooms inside the actual restaurant. Most don’t even have an employee bathroom. Instead, the restroom is located in the casino, where patrons from 2-3 different restaurants can utilize it. By using the available space like this, casinos can offer more dining options to their guests (instead of wasting the space on multiple restrooms). They can also maintain the facilities better, since there are less restrooms to continuously clean.

Once you really think about it, the situation makes perfect sense. Only on rare occasions does this situation cause any mentionable disturbance in one’s life. Sometimes, though, someone attempts to turn what most people would consider a non-issue into a “mentionable disturbance.” This was the case with Divine’s table this evening.

The closest restroom/loo/toilet/bathroom/head is located outside the restaurant and around the corner. I give directions to it an average of 30 times a night. The highest amount (that I actually took the time to keep track of) was an astounding 87.

Divine’s table consisted of a young, childless couple in their late twenties. After ordering, receiving, and eating most of her food, the woman left to use the restroom. She returned and immediately began yelling at Divine. She yelled like a maniac for 2-3 minutes about how it is Divine’s responsibility to inform ALL of her guests that there is not a restroom in the actual restaurant. The guest felt that Divine should tell EVERY-SINGLE-PERSON, prior to taking their food order, so they could have the option of dining elsewhere. The guest went on to say that the closest restroom was a 15 minute walk from the restaurant – it’s actually more like 2 if you walk really, really slow. Divine bit her tongue, apologized for the inconvenience, and informed the lady that if she had asked where the restroom was she would have been told. This did nothing to appease the insane lady. She continued to yell nonsense for another minute before eventually Divine excused herself. The lady’s husband intervened and soothed her long enough to allow her to finish her meal, request the check, and pay with a credit card.

When Divine collected the credit card slip the lady had placed a giant zero with a line through it in the tip and total area.

Below the signature line she left a note, in angry, giant writing:

NO RESTROOMS INSIDE!!!!!! WARN YOUR GUESTS!!!!!!!

I’m not sure exactly how many exclamation points there were in total, but there were enough for me to think that she is both serious and fucking crazy.