Waiting In Vegas

Whenever the rodeo is in town every casino is flooded with men of all ages wearing nut hugging jeans so tight that you can see the outline of their junk. Their ensemble also includes cowboy hats of all shapes, colors, and sizes – excluding the straw kid cowboy hats they sell at the $.99 store.  Often, the men and women wear matching shirts.  The woman frequently completes her outfit with a camel toe.  Most of these cowboys are harmless enough.  You just have to remember to speak slowly and use small words.  Apparently, these cowboys are real big on respect too – as demonstrated in the following story.

Gaysian (my gay asian co-worker) waited on a party that consisted of two cowboys and a cowgirl.  As he cleared the plates from the table one of the men asked if they could have the check. Gaysian said something like “Yes, I will get that for you.”

When Gaysian returned with the check he placed it on the table and the following conversation happened:

Cowboy: Do you know who I am?

Gaysian: No sir, should I?

Cowboy: You should.

Gaysian: Are you going to give me a hint?

Cowboy: Where I come from they call me Captain and him (pointing to his friend) Mister.

Gaysian: That doesn’t sound familiar. Can I have another hint?

Cowboy (angrily): Where I come from people call you SIR.  When I ask for the check I expect “YES SIR.”

Gaysian: I’ll collect your payment when you are ready, SIR.

Needless to say, the cowboy stiffed Gaysian.