Waiting In Vegas

Sometimes when it is slow servers will discuss in greater detail what is going on in their station.   Often we like to play a game called “who do you think will fuck me more?”   Of course we don’t mean this literally – Instead, this is a game that consists of stereotyping your tables and rating them in order of who you think is more likely to screw you (or the other server) out of a fair tip.   The object of the game is to give everyone equally good service and to predetermine who will tip you the most or least (in terms of percentage).   We played this game during my last hour of work (before I left early because it was slow).   Here was the breakdown:

Table #1: 4 Hispanics (most likely Mexican, a couple and their two sons)
Table #2: 5 English women (one was so disgustingly ugly I had to look away while taking her order)
Table #3: 1 Single diner dressed like a foreigner with a slight unidentifiable accent
Table #4: 2 Americans (a middle aged couple)
Table #5: 7 Australians (unfortunately for me there we supposed to be 8 but one was ill and did not arrive so I could not add gratuity)

Let the games begin.

Pick 1: Everyone correctly assumed table #4 would tip the most.   Their check was $35.02 and they gave me $42 and told me to keep the change (20%).

Pick 2: Most people thought the single diner (table #3) would come in second place but only because the other choices are notoriously bad tippers and we no one could identify where he was from.   He did in fact come in second place, tipping 17%.

Pick 3: At this point no one could really decide who was going to screw me worse.   It was really a toss up between the British women and the Hispanics. The Hispanics came out ahead, tipping me $19 on $119 (16%).   I realized after we had made our bets that one of them spoke English and probably lived here.   The other three were probably visiting him from Mexico.

Pick 4: The British women wound up tipping $14 on $108 (13% and several “cheers”).

Pick 5: There was no doubt in anyone’s mind that the Australians would fuck me the hardest.   There wasn’t even a debate or even a need for discussion.   Their check was $160 – they handed me $175 and told me to keep the change (almost 10%, which was actually more than anyone expected).

Sometimes we simply have too much time on our hands.