Waiting In Vegas

I recently read an article about an iPhone app to (almost) replace waiters. It was a pretty interesting read. The app would allow diners to browse menus and place their order electronically. It would also allow customers to “send messages to the kitchen and waitstaff.” My response: How fucking annoying would it be if you [...]

The highlight of my day was when a party of four drunk frat boys were seated in my station. You know the type, they call every girl a “hottie” and insist on leaving their number for every waitress – even after they were told not to bother because they would never get a phone call.  [...]

December is the WORST work month of the year. If you work in the industry and you plan on eating food or using electricity during the month of December, you have to use your savings to pay for such lavish things. December is the month of the cowboys. Hundreds of thousands of men in nut-hugging [...]

Every now and then an escaped mental patient wanders into our restaurant and plops down in my station. Yes… it’s always my station because crazy people gravitate to me. They are drawn to me like a moth to a light, a kid to candy, or Charlie Sheen to hookers. Of course, I’m kidding about the [...]

I haven’t blogged in a while because I was recently laid off. Being laid off in the industry in Las Vegas means something very different than it does elsewhere or in other industries. Yes, like other laid off people, I had to sign a paper recognizing my new status of being laid off. Unlike these [...]

Tonight my station looked like the audience from the show “Let’s Make A Deal.”  You know the show; everyone is dressed like a bunch of ass clowns, hoping to stand out enough to catch the eye of the producers.  If they are dressed douchey enough, like a man dressed as a pregnant space alien with [...]

After I approached the young couple seated at table 57, the woman began by ordered a Sprite.  I delivered her drink and took the couple’s food order – a grilled chicken sandwich to share and an order of fries.  Once they discussed (with me standing there) exactly how expensive the food was, they decided they [...]

I can’t remember the last time I had a conventional conversation with my co-workers. Mostly everything discussed at work consists of subjects meant to embarrass, sexually harass, or gross out co-workers. I know this to be true because frequently I am at the heart of these conversations. Occasionally (even though my managers would say otherwise), [...]

Tonight I witnessed a man explaining to another man what the literal meaning of the word “douchebag” is. The table contained two drunker-than-Cooter-Brown men, with their not-quite-as-drunk-as-Cooter-Brown wives. Man #1: I don’t get it. What is a douchebag? Man #2: You know… it’s a bag of water that a woman cleans her vagina with. Woman [...]

A Canadian couple in their 40s dined with us this evening. Their bill came to $42. They paid with a $100 bill. The change was broken down as such: 1- $20 bill 3 – $10 bills 1 – $5 bill 3 – $1 bills When I presented them with their change, I counted it back [...]