So.. you are out with a group of 15 of your closest friends from high school and one person inevitably asks the server for 15 separate checks.
Two things can happen here:
1. You hear the server groan, roll her eyes, and she honors your ridiculous request and at the end of the meal you complain when it takes her 20 minutes to close your checks out. Your check might also even contain the wrong items, so you wait a little longer for her to get it corrected. A lot of the time all 15 people are paying with cash – which makes the server wish death on you all.
2. The server nicely (or even not nicely) refuses to do it, telling you the policy is one check for large parties. You and your 15 friends spend 5-10 minutes throwing some money or credit cards into a pile and pay your check. Some parties opt to split their check evenly by the number of people in the party. Some get their phone out to calculate the exact amount they owe (down to the penny). Others just round up and give an approximate amount per person – one person says “put whatever is left over on this card.” Inevitably the person who puts the remainder on their card only tips on that portion. Hopefully the server included gratuity – otherwise, the tip will be something like $5 on $350 because the credit card amount was only $25 and the tip written in was $5.
You, having never worked in a restaurant, think to yourself.. what’s the big deal with separate checks – why do servers hate it so much? Is it really that difficult to separate a check? What is so hard about being a waitress – any moron can do it.
Let me begin by saying your server groans when you ask for separate checks because it says a lot about you. Your server assumes that you are cheap and already knows that you are annoying. But why?
- You are out with 15 of your oldest friends are all of you so cheap that you cant just divide the check evenly like civilized human beings?
- You are creating much more work for your server and this additional work will not be rewarded. People who require separate checks almost always leave shitty tips. If you are part of a large party and you server decides to include gratuity – she now has to add it to all 15 checks (instead of 1). In this case, this is what is taking so long after you request your checks.
- You are not the server’s only table. In fact, she probably has lots of other tables. I could have a 15 top and 7 other tables. I automatically have 8 checks open – separating your check into 15 checks would give me 22 open checks. Having so many open checks gets confusing AND sometimes one check from the 15 top remains because no one claims it and the server then forces someone else to pay it.
At this point, a lot of people say.. it still doesn’t sound difficult. What’s the big deal?
The big deal is that there are 15 of you and 1 of me. Is it easier for you to do the math- absolutely! Not only is it easier but it is more efficient when you go to pay the check. It will only take the server a couple of minutes to process your payment even if you give her a stack of credit cards to run. If she has to close out 15 checks individually it will take much longer. For instance, we have a cashier who closes our checks. If all 15 people paid in cash it would probably take at least a minute each. The cashier has to pull up the check on the computer, put in the amount you are paying, make change, and wait for the check to close and print. There might also be other people in front of you waiting for their checks to be closed. If everyone plans on paying in cash – just ask your server to break large bills and everyone pitch in some money. It’s not rocket science. Why are people so afraid of paying $1 more?? These are your closest friends?
Small parties that include families are the worst. I hate to hear a family of four ask for separate checks – it’s horrible when a daughter asks for separate checks because she doesn’t want to accidently pay even a small amount for her mom’s food. It just lacks class. That’s your mom – buy her some food, just pitch in some money, spilt the check evenly WHATEVER. Just don’t be such a cheap loser that you need a separate check from your mom.
I know a lot of people think that servers who don’t separate checks are just slacking. Really, telling people “No” to a request to inevitably gives them a worse dining experience makes them a better server. They can then focus on performing more important tasks AND their other 8 tables. When a server tells you “No separate checks” you should know that they are doing it for own good. Stop being a cheap fucking douche bag and let your server provide you with good service.
Also, you shouldn’t think your server is stupid … After all YOU ARE THE ONE WHO IS TOO FUCKING RETARDED TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH MONEY YOU OWE OR TOO CHEAP TO JUST THROW SOME MONEY IN.
Twitter Updates
I love this post because it confirms something I saw on another site: This blogger has a rant about how the black and white wait-staff at Hooter’s assumed he and his two friends were bad tippers because they were black. In his litany of bad service he claims to have gotten was: She brought a single check instead of thre seperate ones. When I read that, the chiseler bell went off immediately. They claimed to be three professional guys on vacation together in Vegas and they asked for seperate checks on a $45 tab??? Nobody who isn’t a skinflint does that. Guys I know fight to pay the check and one will win or the others will start throwing cash on the table. How pathetic. His blog is called “Black People Don’t Tip” if you want to google it.
What’s most disheartening here is that the people (the uncivilized, the hostile slave-masters, the proselytizing coin-tippers, etc.) who could truly benefit from your hilarious blog are probably not the ones who are reading it. I’m not at all surprised that after a 19-year “retirement” from serving, the cast of customers is virtually unchanged.
This is dumb. Who says that the reason people want separate checks is because people are cheap? Maybe you don’t want to pay for someone else’s steak and lobster meal with his two bottles of wine when all you had was a salad. Taking orders and ringing up checks is YOUR JOB, if you don’t like it, get another one. You are there to serve, that’s what you get paid for, that’s what you get tipped for, why the hell are you complaining about it?? LAME.
I’ve learned to give them separate checks and then our posi lets us automatically recombine the entire check back to normal so if they pay in cash it takes only a minute to close out of it and if it’s all cards I can make sure that the entire original amount was paid for and there isn’t a random 20 missing. They’re still tools but at least it’s only half a headache.