If you’ve ever eaten in a casino restaurant that happens to be adjacent to a night club or bar then you have probably experienced the “competing noises conundrum.” This happens when two establishments, who are close in proximity, both play their music as loud as humanly possible in an effort to drown the other out. Neither establishment ever wins and the sound produced resembles a set played by an inexperienced DJ who is playing two completely different & unmatched records at the same time, without even so much as an attempt to match the beat. If you think being a guest in this situation sucks, put yourself in the staff’s shoes. We have to hear this shit for hours on end sometimes. At least as a guest you can forgo the dining experience to begin with or leave once the competing noises cause you to seize.
As a result of the “competing noises conundrum,” my manager went to investigate the noise level coming from down the hall. When he returned, we had the following conversation:
Him: Wow, it’s really loud tonight. You can even hear it outside the building.
Me: Yeah, but the good news is that I just queefed at my table and they didn’t hear it.
Him: I don’t even know what to say. That’s disgusting.
Me: (shrugging shoulders) eh.
I later had to confess that I did not in fact queef and am not talented enough to do so on command, while standing.
