Waiting In Vegas

Bocephus

28 February 2010

Tonight was one of those nights where if anything could go wrong it did in fact go wrong. The night started out simple enough. Sure, there was a line but tables were being sat at a manageable pace and the kitchen was sending food out pretty quickly. Then, five of my tables leave at once, [...]

My New Employer

24 February 2010

2 Comments

A drunk man walked up to me this evening and insisted that someone had either put or lost a fingernail in his beer. He demanded to speak to the manager immediately and fill out an incident report with security. I knew he was crazy because how could someone lose a fucking fingernail? Also, no one [...]

The Course Line Key

27 December 2009

3 Comments

Anyone who has waited tables for a number of years has probably witnessed an advancement in the computer systems used within the industry. Years ago, before computers, all servers wrote orders by hand and walked them into the kitchen. Now most places use a computer system that stores the tickets in a database and sends [...]

They Call Me Captain

9 December 2009

1 Comment

Whenever the rodeo is in town every casino is flooded with men of all ages wearing nut hugging jeans so tight that you can see the outline of their junk. Their ensemble also includes cowboy hats of all shapes, colors, and sizes – excluding the straw kid cowboy hats they sell at the $.99 store. [...]

No Char Please

10 November 2009

0 Comments

An old bitchy couple came in this evening to split a turkey burger. When the man ordered it he said “Please make sure it doesn’t have a bunch of char on it. Last time it had so much char on it that I thought about sending it back. If it has a bunch of char [...]

I Just Wanted A Decent Job

19 October 2009

1 Comment

Six yuppy trust fund kids came in to eat tonight – all guys in their early twenties. A long time friend of mine waited on them. All of them were respectful and polite except for the last douche bag who had a loud mouth and David Schwimmer hair. As my friend went to refill the douche bag’s [...]

You Should Be Ashamed Of Yourself

17 October 2009

0 Comments

Tonight when another server went to get a Canadian couple’s drink order the man asked for another minute to look over the menu. A few seconds later he got up, handed the server the menus, and said “We’re leaving. Your prices are fucking ridiculous. You should be ashamed of yourself.”

Low Class Wine Snob

13 October 2009

4 Comments

Let me start off by saying that our wine glasses are small and unstemmed. This is because we do not offer a large selection of wines – we just have a few types of what most would consider table wine. The wine doesn’t come from a box or anything it just isn’t high end and [...]

That Woman Is A Fucking Bitch

11 October 2009

0 Comments

Tonight a bitchy whore was complaining that she meant to order cheese on her burger before it arrived but didn’t. The manager offered to either bring her some cheese or take the burger back to the kitchen to have cheese melted on it (a completely appropriate solution). This did not please the bitchy whore woman- [...]

She’s Nice Too

22 August 2009

0 Comments

I have a migraine and my head is pounding every half second or so. I am managing to get all my table’s orders correct, keep everyone’s drinks full, and still half fake smile. A single man comes in to eat and is sat in my section. He is spanish or something and his cologne is [...]