Archive for the ‘Assholes, Pricks, Jerks etc.’ Category

Chef Logic

July 3rd, 2010 3 Comments

Every Wednesday night our restaurant runs an all-you-can-eat rib special.
Our chef’s idea of all-you-can-eat means using the largest plate possible and filling it with enough food to feed a family of four Americans or an entire village in Africa.  This particular special comes with two full racks of ribs and a giant mound of coleslaw [...]

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Posted in Assholes, Pricks, Jerks etc., Bizarre Shit People Do, Foreigners In Restaurants |

Fight Nights Are The Worst

May 29th, 2010 8 Comments

Fight nights are the worst. The worst clientele flock to Vegas to watch two grown men beat each other up over a million dollar purse. I simply don’t get it. The only fight that I am really interested in witnessing would be between two gay men in feather boas, tights, and [...]

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Posted in Annoying Shit That People Do, Assholes, Pricks, Jerks etc., Cheap People, Drunk People |

She’s Asleep Now

May 3rd, 2010 3 Comments

Tonight started off slowly. One person called out and wasn’t replaced. Another person left pretty early. We didn’t get busy until 10 p.m. or so. 30 minutes later all of the computers went down. The problem was with the network itself. We could technically ring new tickets in and [...]

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Posted in Annoying Shit That People Do, Assholes, Pricks, Jerks etc., Technical Difficulties |

The Harder We Laugh

April 7th, 2010 1 Comment

Few people love passive aggressive notes left by restaurant diners more than me. Most of the time I don’t even mind the fact that the note is left in lieu of a tip because I am so utterly amused by it. Sure, it’s nice to hear things like “you’re pretty” or “the service [...]

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Posted in Annoying Shit That People Do, Assholes, Pricks, Jerks etc. |

Restaurants Are A Perfect Place For This

March 19th, 2010 3 Comments

Sometimes I think that people only dine out for the sake of having something to complain about. I’m not saying that where I work screws up so much they have no choice but to complain. What I am saying is that some people are just constantly on the lookout for an opportunity to be [...]

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Posted in Annoying Shit That People Do, Assholes, Pricks, Jerks etc., Cheap People |

Bocephus

February 28th, 2010 1 Comment

Tonight was one of those nights where if anything could go wrong it did in fact go wrong.  The night started out simple enough. Sure, there was a line but tables were being sat at a manageable pace and the kitchen was sending food out pretty quickly. Then, five of my tables leave at once, [...]

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Posted in Annoying Shit That People Do, Assholes, Pricks, Jerks etc., Cheap People |

My New Employer

February 24th, 2010 2 Comments

A drunk man walked up to me this evening and insisted that someone had either put or lost a fingernail in his beer.  He demanded to speak to the manager immediately and fill out an incident report with security.  I knew he was crazy because how could someone lose a fucking fingernail?  Also, no one [...]

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Posted in Annoying Shit That People Do, Assholes, Pricks, Jerks etc., Drunk People |

The Course Line Key

December 27th, 2009 3 Comments

Anyone who has waited tables for a number of years has probably witnessed an advancement in the computer systems used within the industry.  Years ago, before computers, all servers wrote orders by hand and walked them into the kitchen.  Now most places use a computer system that stores the tickets in a database and sends [...]

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Posted in Annoying Shit That People Do, Assholes, Pricks, Jerks etc., Free Unsolicited Advice, Technical Difficulties |

They Call Me Captain

December 9th, 2009 1 Comment

Whenever the rodeo is in town every casino is flooded with men of all ages wearing nut hugging jeans so tight that you can see the outline of their junk. Their ensemble also includes cowboy hats of all shapes, colors, and sizes – excluding the straw kid cowboy hats they sell at the $.99 store. [...]

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Posted in Annoying Shit That People Do, Assholes, Pricks, Jerks etc., Bizarre Shit People Do, Cheap People, Drunk People |

No Char Please

November 10th, 2009 No Comments

An old bitchy couple came in this evening to split a turkey burger.  When the man ordered it he said “Please make sure it doesn’t have a bunch of char on it.  Last time it had so much char on it that I thought about sending it back.  If it has a bunch of char [...]

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Posted in Assholes, Pricks, Jerks etc., Hijinks Ensues |
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