Waiting In Vegas

Good Riddance, Asshole.

8 March 2011

Hostesses are your first impression of a restaurant. The hardest job that a hostess has is concealing their frustration at guests who demand to be seated immediately, in the table of their choosing. What most guests fail to understand is that hostesses seat guests at a specific table for a reason. They don’t just arbitrarily [...]

Lady William of Shallot

17 February 2011

11 Comments

Just when I think that no one could ever be cuntier than the last cunt, someone new comes along and shatters the existing record. Tonight it was a party of three who managed this feat. The two females were the real culprits but the man was present and is therefore guilty by association. I’m sure [...]

I Hate December

16 December 2010

6 Comments

December is the WORST work month of the year. If you work in the industry and you plan on eating food or using electricity during the month of December, you have to use your savings to pay for such lavish things. December is the month of the cowboys. Hundreds of thousands of men in nut-hugging [...]

Divine & Station 1

8 September 2010

5 Comments

My last job was also in a restaurant located inside a casino. The restaurant was divided into 10 stations, each station had an average of 7 tables. One of these stations consisted of waiting on bar patrons (station 1). To understand exactly how fucking stupid station 1 was you will need a little insight. The [...]

WARN YOUR GUESTS!!!!

28 August 2010

5 Comments

I have previously touched on the subject of passive aggressive notes being left on the table after a guest leaves. Today Divine received such a note, after she had already withstood a verbal tongue-lashing from a guest. Something you should know if you have IBS or some kind of urine retention problem: MOST casino restaurants [...]

Chef Logic

3 July 2010

7 Comments

Every Wednesday night our restaurant runs an all-you-can-eat rib special. Our chef’s idea of all-you-can-eat means using the largest plate possible and filling it with enough food to feed a family of four Americans or an entire village in Africa. This particular special comes with two full racks of ribs and a giant mound of [...]

Fight Nights Are The Worst

29 May 2010

7 Comments

Fight nights are the worst. The worst clientele flock to Vegas to watch two grown men beat each other up over a million dollar purse. I simply don’t get it. The only fight that I am really interested in witnessing would be between two gay men in feather boas, tights, and tiaras fighting over a [...]

She’s Asleep Now

3 May 2010

3 Comments

Tonight started off slowly. One person called out and wasn’t replaced. Another person left pretty early. We didn’t get busy until 10 p.m. or so. 30 minutes later all of the computers went down. The problem was with the network itself. We could technically ring new tickets in and recall them on the same computer. [...]

The Harder We Laugh

7 April 2010

1 Comment

Few people love passive aggressive notes left by restaurant diners more than me. Most of the time I don’t even mind the fact that the note is left in lieu of a tip because I am so utterly amused by it. Sure, it’s nice to hear things like “you’re pretty” or “the service was awesome” [...]

Restaurants Are A Perfect Place For This

19 March 2010

3 Comments

Sometimes I think that people only dine out for the sake of having something to complain about. I’m not saying that where I work screws up so much they have no choice but to complain. What I am saying is that some people are just constantly on the lookout for an opportunity to be rude [...]