Waiting In Vegas

Samesies

4 November 2009

Tonight a nondescript couple came in to eat. When the man discovered he and his wife had ordered the same sandwich and then the same beer he looked at his wife and loudly blurted out “Samesies.” Of course, his tone immediately switched to a feminine gay man’s and remained that way for the rest of [...]

I Hope They Were Drunk

2 November 2009

0 Comments

After serving four older ladies I dropped the check on their table, advising them that I would pick it up whenever they were ready. I then watched them try to figure out how much each of them owed for over $25 minutes. Each of them were throwing money in a pile and then taking it [...]

Blindy – I’m Waiting For My Friend

22 October 2009

6 Comments

A super-sized chromosomally challenged woman approaches the hostess stand on her hoveround. Besides being too fat to walk, her coke bottle glasses indicated she is also blind as fuck. If she were a ghost in Pacman her name would be “Blindy.” It is also noteworthy to mention that she had a large mole on her [...]

Shave It, Wax It, Pluck It

14 October 2009

0 Comments

Today I went to a table to drop off a milkshake for another server. There were two black ladies at the table, one of which had a mustache thicker than most guys I know. It covered the entire area between her nose and lips. I almost died. If you have a vagina and a mustache [...]

My Bum Hurts

7 October 2009

2 Comments

Two French men get sat in my section. One man only speaks enough english to request a pillow from me. No, he does not want to take a nap – apparently, our normal wood chairs were too hard for this guy. When I told him that we don’t have any pillows he said “do you [...]

Sleepyhead Wakes Up

25 September 2009

1 Comment

This evening a single guy came in and ate at the bar. Shortly after arriving I guess sleepyhead was tired because he fell into a deep sleep. When the bartender alerted me, I had no choice but to intervene by kicking sleepyhead’s chair as I walked by. I kicked it with a lot of force [...]

Oldilocks Poops Dust

21 September 2009

0 Comments

An older black couple came in this evening. They were pleasant enough so I will restrain from calling them names. Instead, I will recap the conversation that took place between me and the old man who I have nicknamed Oldilocks. Me: Can I get you two something to drink? Oldilocks: Do you have juice? Me: [...]

I’m Not Drunk

25 August 2009

0 Comments

A single man comes in and sits at the bar. He has obviously been drinking and orders a bottle of white wine. He sits and drinks his wine while watching some sporting event on television. After he finishes the entire bottle of wine a short time later he attempts to order another one. His speech [...]

Kate Gosselin Would Be Proud

7 July 2009

4 Comments

Another server came over this evening to point out some weirdo guests taking part in a bizarre ritual. The table consisted of three fat black chicks with cheap weave and long hooker nails. They ordered some appetizers to share, including chicken wings. Before their food arrived the server brought out any condiments they would need, [...]

Smoking In Vegas

24 June 2009

0 Comments

Vegas is not what it once was, especially when it comes to smoking. Occassionally a smoker saunters into our restaurant with a lit cigarette. More commonly, diners ask to be sat in the smoking section or ask for an ashtray – especially Europeans. Today I witnessed one of the most hillbilly events [...]