Tonight I was removing dishes from a table when the following brief and somewhat embarrassing conversation occurred.
Me: May I take your plate?
Man: If you want me to lick it I will.
Men: (realizing how dirty he sounded the man begins laughing like a lunatic)
Me: That won’t be necessary.
Men: Wait… I wasn’t talking about your vagina.
Me: [...]
Archive for the ‘Hijinks Ensues’ Category
That Won’t Be Necessary
May 1st, 2010
3 Comments
Good Old John
April 28th, 2010
3 Comments
Our last assistant manager was escorted out by security for drinking on the job. When I say drinking on the job I do not mean having a refreshing glass of beer to de-stress. What I mean is he was shit-faced (near falling down) drunk. You could also smell the alcohol oozing from [...]
Plenty of Time
April 11th, 2010
3 Comments
Last night I invented an awesome new way to annoy my manager.
At 12:28 I walked up to him with a notepad in my hand and asked him the time. I jotted it down along with “Paul standing by the bar.” I showed him the pad of paper and told him I was going [...]
Enjoy Your Diabetes
January 28th, 2010
3 Comments
A really obese couple came in and hobbled to my station. The woman (in her 40s) ordered a shirley temple (sprite with grenadine). Within 2 minutes she downed her entire drink and began making slurping noises with her straw before waving her glass in the air. I brought her a refill and she continued drinking [...]
Curly Sue Is A Smartass
January 6th, 2010
4 Comments
A party of four older black men were sat in Curly Sue’s section tonight. When he arrives at the table he notices the four men have pushed their water glasses into the middle of the table. He starts to offer them water but is quickly interrupted by one of the men. He loudly complains that [...]
Competing Noises Conundrum
December 26th, 2009
No Comments
If you’ve ever eaten in a casino restaurant that happens to be adjacent to a night club or bar then you have probably experienced the “competing noises conundrum.” This happens when two establishments, who are close in proximity, both play their music as loud as humanly possible in an effort to drown the other out. [...]
A Limo At A Red Light
November 13th, 2009
2 Comments
As a friend of mine was walking down the strip after work the following hilarity ensued.
A limo was stopped at a red light while a bride to be, donning a white veil, and her friend were hanging out of the sunroof. Being drunk, like most slutty women who come to Vegas and attempt to get [...]
No Char Please
November 10th, 2009
No Comments
An old bitchy couple came in this evening to split a turkey burger. When the man ordered it he said “Please make sure it doesn’t have a bunch of char on it. Last time it had so much char on it that I thought about sending it back. If it has a bunch of char [...]
You Only Said No Tomato, Fuckface
November 9th, 2009
1 Comment
A party of six rowdy & drunk Canadians came in to eat this evening. Most of them had special instructions for their food – including one man who ordered a burger with “no tomato.” When their food arrived I was standing nearby talking with another table. The man who ordered his burger with no tomato [...]
My Butthole Itches
November 3rd, 2009
No Comments
I jokingly told a female busser that my butthole itched. She countered it by furiously scratching it with all her might. Her aim was dead on. Note: I didn’t see her wash her hands afterward.
