Archive for the ‘Free Unsolicited Advice’ Category

Voice Your Complaints

One of my biggest pet peeves is when a guest fails to alert me of a problem with their order before they eat everything.  It’s not like I’m the type of server who doesn’t check back and provide them with ample time to voice their complaints prior to finishing their meal entirely.
I check back on [...]

The Course Line Key

Anyone who has waited tables for a number of years has probably witnessed an advancement in the computer systems used within the industry.  Years ago, before computers, all servers wrote orders by hand and walked them into the kitchen.  Now most places use a computer system that stores the tickets in a database and sends [...]

Your Cooperation Is Appreciated

Anyone who knows me will tell you that I don’t mind the sight of raw beef – in fact I prefer it.  The rarer a good steak is the better it tastes.  One of the most challenging parts of my job is listening to hillbillies and Canadians order hamburgers, and even Kobe burgers, well done. [...]

(FAQ) Why Do Servers Hate Separate Checks?

So.. you are out with a group of 15 of your closest friends from high school and one person inevitably asks the server for 15 separate checks.
Two things can happen here:
1. You hear the server groan, roll her eyes, and she honors your ridiculous request and at the end of the meal you complain when [...]

(FAQ) Can I Ask Out A Cute Server/Waitress?

It never hurts to ask but remember lots of people probably ask her out (unless she has a peg leg, an eye patch, or a face only a mother could love). This rule of course does not apply to me – In which case, NO.. you may not.  You will be able to spot me… [...]

(FAQ) Why Are Some People Such Shitty Tippers?

Some people are cheap AND uneducated. A lot simply don’t care about etiquette because they are white trash losers who work at Walmart, where tipping isn’t customary.
Of course, you will always have people that tip the same amount – regardless of the amount of the check or the service they receive. I gather this is [...]

(FAQ) If You Are Unhappy With Your Meal While Dining Out – When Is The Best Time To Mention It To The Staff?

It depends on what you aren’t happy with and who is at fault.
- If you are unhappy with something that is free- like bread… just don’t eat it.
- If you are unhappy because your food contains something that was clearly stated in the menu but you opted to just skim over that part and you [...]

Waiting Tables Isn’t For Everyone

If you have ever thought about waiting tables and just aren’t sure if you can pull it off then let me just say that waiting tables isn’t for everyone. In fact, I have worked with some extremely shitty servers. If you can do 15 things at once, have lots of patience, and don’t mind working [...]

Even The Dumbest Servers Can Recognize a Bad Tipper

Here is some advice that you should keep in mind while dining out.
If you are a cheap fucking loser who tips your waitress/waiter $2.30 on a $47.70 check.  DO NOT expect to receive the to go box you requested any time soon.  When someone gives us such a shitty tip BEFORE making additional [...]