Every Wednesday night our restaurant runs an all-you-can-eat rib special.
Our chef’s idea of all-you-can-eat means using the largest plate possible and filling it with enough food to feed a family of four Americans or an entire village in Africa. This particular special comes with two full racks of ribs and a giant mound of coleslaw [...]
Archive for the ‘Foreigners In Restaurants’ Category
Chef Logic
July 3rd, 2010
3 Comments
Potential Fodder For Your Blog
June 5th, 2010
3 Comments
Earlier I received this facebook message from Gaysian.
Subject: So here’s some potential fodder for your blog.
I was gonna write it as a comment but didn’t want to risk getting fired!
Woman: (think drunk blanch (RIP) from golden girls) i want a burger well done.
Me: okay, would you like any fries or onion rings with that?
Woman: what, [...]
I Don’t Plan On Visiting Canada
November 19th, 2009
3 Comments
An older couple came in, each ordering an extra well done burger and fries. They were extremely pleasant and asked for advice on sights, shows, and dining. Since it was pretty slow I chatted with them until their food came. Then I brought them vinegar and mayo for their fries. Even though I knew they [...]
Wanker
November 12th, 2009
No Comments
Three Indian men from England came in to eat this evening. They were all pretty drunk. Each of them requested separate checks – two of them paid with credit cards and the third handed me cash on his way out. Apparently, the man who paid in cash looked at the subtotal ($25) and handed me [...]
Three Minus Two Equals One
October 20th, 2009
No Comments
Three asian ladies get sat in my section. For two minutes the hostess remains at the table with the ladies, as if explaining something. When the hostess finally leaves, I ask her what all the fuss was about before going to greet the table. Apparently, only one of the ladies is going to stay. The [...]
Your Cooperation Is Appreciated
October 18th, 2009
2 Comments
Anyone who knows me will tell you that I don’t mind the sight of raw beef – in fact I prefer it. The rarer a good steak is the better it tastes. One of the most challenging parts of my job is listening to hillbillies and Canadians order hamburgers, and even Kobe burgers, well done. [...]
You Should Be Ashamed Of Yourself
October 17th, 2009
No Comments
Tonight when another server went to get a Canadian couple’s drink order the man asked for another minute to look over the menu. A few seconds later he got up, handed the server the menus, and said “We’re leaving. Your prices are fucking ridiculous. You should be ashamed of yourself.”
My Bum Hurts
October 7th, 2009
1 Comment
Two French men get sat in my section. One man only speaks enough english to request a pillow from me. No, he does not want to take a nap – apparently, our normal wood chairs were too hard for this guy. When I told him that we don’t have any pillows he said “do you [...]
Lattice On Zee Sied
September 4th, 2009
1 Comment
Today two french ladies came in to eat lunch. They were both in their late twenties and seemed pleasant enough. The first lady ordered a salad and the second one ordered a burger. After the second one ordered her burger the following conversation happened:
Her: Lattice on zee sied
Me: Huh?
Her: Lattice on zee [...]
