Waiting In Vegas

20 Rules To Follow When Dining Out
Part 3

6 April 2011

11. Fuck you and your free sample. If you are the kind of person who goes into a restaurant and asks for a sample of something before you buy it, I fucking hate you. I don’t even care if you spent five years building schools in Africa or adopted 45 kids from Cambodia. The fact [...]

20 Rules To Follow When Dining Out
Part 2

21 March 2011

6 Comments

6. Your kids aren’t as fucking cute as you think they are (unless they are Asian). American children are taught to be autonomous. We like to make our children think that they have choices and that they are capable of making them without the assistance of an adult. The truth is, kids are generally morons [...]

iPhone App To (almost) Replace Waiters

5 January 2011

7 Comments

I recently read an article about an iPhone app to (almost) replace waiters. It was a pretty interesting read. The app would allow diners to browse menus and place their order electronically. It would also allow customers to “send messages to the kitchen and waitstaff.” My response: How fucking annoying would it be if you [...]

Voice Your Complaints

9 January 2010

4 Comments

One of my biggest pet peeves is when a guest fails to alert me of a problem with their order before they eat everything. It’s not like I’m the type of server who doesn’t check back and provide them with ample time to voice their complaints prior to finishing their meal entirely. I check back [...]

Your Cooperation Is Appreciated

18 October 2009

5 Comments

Anyone who knows me will tell you that I don’t mind the sight of raw beef – in fact I prefer it. The rarer a good steak is the better it tastes. One of the most challenging parts of my job is listening to hillbillies and Canadians order hamburgers, and even Kobe burgers, well done. [...]

(FAQ) Do You Like Your Job?

4 October 2009

1 Comment

A lot of people look down on servers as being uneducated or unable to attain any other type of employment. The truth is that people wait tables for a variety of different reasons. - You can sleep until noon EVERYDAY and take a nap later if you want. - You make good money tolerating people [...]

(FAQ) Can I Ask Out A Cute Server/Waitress?

3 October 2009

0 Comments

It never hurts to ask but remember lots of people probably ask her out (unless she has a peg leg, an eye patch, or a face only a mother could love). This rule of course does not apply to me – In which case, NO.. you may not. You will be able to spot me… [...]

(FAQ) Why Are Some People Such Shitty Tippers?

2 October 2009

1 Comment

Some people are cheap AND uneducated. A lot simply don’t care about etiquette because they are white trash losers who work at Walmart, where tipping isn’t customary. Of course, you will always have people that tip the same amount – regardless of the amount of the check or the service they receive. I gather this [...]

(FAQ) If You Are Unhappy With Your Meal While Dining Out – When Is The Best Time To Mention It To The Staff?

1 October 2009

0 Comments

It depends on what you aren’t happy with and who is at fault. - If you are unhappy with something that is free- like bread… just don’t eat it. - If you are unhappy because your food contains something that was clearly stated in the menu but you opted to just skim over that part [...]