A super-sized chromosomally challenged woman approaches the hostess stand on her hoveround. Besides being too fat to walk, her coke bottle glasses indicated she is also blind as fuck. If she were a ghost in Pacman her name would be “Blindy.” It is also noteworthy to mention that she had a large mole on her [...]
Archive for the ‘Cheap People’ Category
Three Minus Two Equals One
October 20th, 2009
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Three asian ladies get sat in my section. For two minutes the hostess remains at the table with the ladies, as if explaining something. When the hostess finally leaves, I ask her what all the fuss was about before going to greet the table. Apparently, only one of the ladies is going to stay. The [...]
You Should Be Ashamed Of Yourself
October 17th, 2009
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Tonight when another server went to get a Canadian couple’s drink order the man asked for another minute to look over the menu. A few seconds later he got up, handed the server the menus, and said “We’re leaving. Your prices are fucking ridiculous. You should be ashamed of yourself.”
Jaba Jaba
October 12th, 2009
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So… I don’t know about you but I have spent a small fraction of my life playing video games – including Zelda. If you are familiar with The Legend of Zelda The Ocarina of Time then you probably remember the level with the giant disgusting whale named Jaba Jaba.
Tonight I waited on him and his [...]
Even The Dumbest Servers Can Recognize a Bad Tipper
September 9th, 2009
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Here is some advice that you should keep in mind while dining out.
If you are a cheap fucking loser who tips your waitress/waiter $2.30 on a $47.70 check. DO NOT expect to receive the to go box you requested any time soon. When someone gives us such a shitty tip BEFORE making additional [...]
12% Is Exactly What We Were Aiming For
August 5th, 2009
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Occasionally cheap losers come in who feel paying automatic gratuity for large parties is simply beneath them. In order to avoid this additional expense these fucktards opt to have their party sat at separate tables and waited on by different people.
Before I go any further if you are one of these people who think [...]
The British Are Coming
July 4th, 2009
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In celebration of our independence from our dark British overlords all the casinos in Las Vegas seem to have slashed their room prices. All weekend (starting today apparently) I will be dealing with cheap assholes with annoying accents who only tip me with the word “cheers.” Awesome. Happy 4th of July.
Get Some Real Business Cards Cocklick
June 23rd, 2009
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A coworker of mine waited on a single guy this evening. Everything was pretty uneventful until the end of the meal – the man then told the server to check out his web site about a potential business proposal and handed him a business card. The business card was for some MLM bullshit [...]
