Waiting In Vegas

Keeping It A Mystery

15 September 2010

Tonight a table spent their entire visit attempting to guess my weight. It was a party of 3, which consisted of a middle aged mother and her two grown children. The situation was weird to say the least. Their first guess was only 5 pounds too high. I told them that they were in the [...]

Divine & Station 1

8 September 2010

5 Comments

My last job was also in a restaurant located inside a casino. The restaurant was divided into 10 stations, each station had an average of 7 tables. One of these stations consisted of waiting on bar patrons (station 1). To understand exactly how fucking stupid station 1 was you will need a little insight. The [...]

Mom Jeans And All

3 September 2010

5 Comments

After years of waiting tables in Las Vegas it takes a lot to truly shock me. In fact it has been quite some time since I’ve witnessed something so outlandish and disruptive that it was automatically committed to memory. This is partly due to my many years of experience but mainly due to the fact [...]

WARN YOUR GUESTS!!!!

28 August 2010

5 Comments

I have previously touched on the subject of passive aggressive notes being left on the table after a guest leaves. Today Divine received such a note, after she had already withstood a verbal tongue-lashing from a guest. Something you should know if you have IBS or some kind of urine retention problem: MOST casino restaurants [...]

Fight Nights Are The Worst

29 May 2010

7 Comments

Fight nights are the worst. The worst clientele flock to Vegas to watch two grown men beat each other up over a million dollar purse. I simply don’t get it. The only fight that I am really interested in witnessing would be between two gay men in feather boas, tights, and tiaras fighting over a [...]

Fake Flirting

14 May 2010

2 Comments

Tonight I waited on four guys who were in their early twenties. They were polite enough. They weren’t demanding or obnoxious and they each said please and thank you. They also flirted a bit. I should tell you first that I am horrible at fake flirting. I am not one of those servers who knows [...]

She’s Asleep Now

3 May 2010

3 Comments

Tonight started off slowly. One person called out and wasn’t replaced. Another person left pretty early. We didn’t get busy until 10 p.m. or so. 30 minutes later all of the computers went down. The problem was with the network itself. We could technically ring new tickets in and recall them on the same computer. [...]

The Harder We Laugh

7 April 2010

1 Comment

Few people love passive aggressive notes left by restaurant diners more than me. Most of the time I don’t even mind the fact that the note is left in lieu of a tip because I am so utterly amused by it. Sure, it’s nice to hear things like “you’re pretty” or “the service was awesome” [...]

Restaurants Are A Perfect Place For This

19 March 2010

3 Comments

Sometimes I think that people only dine out for the sake of having something to complain about. I’m not saying that where I work screws up so much they have no choice but to complain. What I am saying is that some people are just constantly on the lookout for an opportunity to be rude [...]

I’m An Asshole

3 March 2010

2 Comments

Two drunk men stumble to the hostess stand. They are using each other for support. The hostess seats them in my station (of course). I give them a couple of minutes to get situated before greeting them and filling their water glasses. They both have one of those giant douche souvenir cups from some place [...]