Waiting In Vegas

Giggles

27 May 2011

A party of four guys in their early twenties were seated in my section tonight. I offered them some drinks and when I told them the price of our sodas, all but one requested water. I overheard them loudly talking about how outrageous our prices are. One guy in particular, Giggles, was deeply, deeply amused [...]

20 Rules To Follow When Dining Out
Part 3

6 April 2011

9 Comments

11. Fuck you and your free sample. If you are the kind of person who goes into a restaurant and asks for a sample of something before you buy it, I fucking hate you. I don’t even care if you spent five years building schools in Africa or adopted 45 kids from Cambodia. The fact [...]

20 Rules To Follow When Dining Out
Part 2

21 March 2011

6 Comments

6. Your kids aren’t as fucking cute as you think they are (unless they are Asian). American children are taught to be autonomous. We like to make our children think that they have choices and that they are capable of making them without the assistance of an adult. The truth is, kids are generally morons [...]

Good Riddance, Asshole.

8 March 2011

8 Comments

Hostesses are your first impression of a restaurant. The hardest job that a hostess has is concealing their frustration at guests who demand to be seated immediately, in the table of their choosing. What most guests fail to understand is that hostesses seat guests at a specific table for a reason. They don’t just arbitrarily [...]

20 Rules To Follow When Dining Out
Part 1

4 March 2011

8 Comments

I’m going to break this post into 4 parts to make the length manageable. I’ve compiled a list of 20 common sense rules that you should follow when dining out. I’m sure other servers would love you to know this stuff too. I know most people will find this list to be common sense but [...]

Lady William of Shallot

17 February 2011

11 Comments

Just when I think that no one could ever be cuntier than the last cunt, someone new comes along and shatters the existing record. Tonight it was a party of three who managed this feat. The two females were the real culprits but the man was present and is therefore guilty by association. I’m sure [...]

I Hate December

16 December 2010

6 Comments

December is the WORST work month of the year. If you work in the industry and you plan on eating food or using electricity during the month of December, you have to use your savings to pay for such lavish things. December is the month of the cowboys. Hundreds of thousands of men in nut-hugging [...]

Let’s Make A Deal

20 October 2010

5 Comments

Tonight my station looked like the audience from the show “Let’s Make A Deal.” You know the show; everyone is dressed like a bunch of ass clowns, hoping to stand out enough to catch the eye of the producers. If they are dressed douchey enough, like a man dressed as a pregnant space alien with [...]

Table 57

13 October 2010

5 Comments

After I approached the young couple seated at table 57, the woman began by ordered a Sprite. I delivered her drink and took the couple’s food order – a grilled chicken sandwich to share and an order of fries. Once they discussed (with me standing there) exactly how expensive the food was, they decided they [...]

Two Beavers Building a Dam

20 September 2010

4 Comments

A Canadian couple in their 40s dined with us this evening. Their bill came to $42. They paid with a $100 bill. The change was broken down as such: 1- $20 bill 3 – $10 bills 1 – $5 bill 3 – $1 bills When I presented them with their change, I counted it back [...]