Waiting In Vegas

Occasionally cheap losers come in who feel paying automatic gratuity for large parties is simply beneath them.   In order to avoid this additional expense these fucktards opt to have their party sat at separate tables and waited on by different people.

Before I go any further if you are one of these people who think “gratuity should be based on performance and not included for large parties” let me clarify some things for you.   Gratuity is more than likely added at the discretion of the server.   Most servers opt to include it because they can and because they have been screwed several times before by people who seemed like decent human beings who then gave a 5% tip in exchange for 20% service.   If a server adds gratuity to your check it doesn’t ALWAYS mean you look like a white trash piece of shit, a foreigner, or you are black – it just means the server would rather have a guaranteed 18% tip rather than take a chance at getting a 5% tip.   You shouldn’t be offended – this is Vegas and the people who live here don’t really gamble.

With that being said:

Twelve Canadians approach the hostess stand and ask if gratuity is included for large parties.   When the hostess says yes they ask for two tables sitting in close proximity to one another.   They are sat at two tables right next to each other – both seating six.   I wait on one table and another server waits on the other.   We have both been alerted to the fact that they refused to pay the gratuity and instead requested to be sat separately.   My co-worker says “Let’s make them miserable” – her table waits several minutes before being greeted.

Since I’m not really doing anything else I greet my table and get their drink order.   Then I check on every other table I have, refill water pitchers and talk to one of my tables briefly about what shows to see in Vegas etc.   Eventually, I pick up their drinks.   The other server is just getting her table’s drink order.   I take my table’s order – everyone orders their burgers cooked medium – I take the time to explain cooking temperatures since Canadians always think medium means your burger will be fully cooked (also called “well done”).   Everyone then changes their burgers to well done.   I slowly put their order in while discussing public hair patterns with a co-worker.

Eventually, the other server takes her table’s order.   All the burgers are ordered medium because she opted not to explain cooking temperatures.   When both tables need refills they wait a little bit longer than our other tables.   The food for the other server’s table comes out first since everything is cooked to medium.   My table’s food comes out 7 or so minutes later.   The other table complains loudly that their burgers are not cooked – the server explains they are cooked how they were ordered and then explains cooking temperatures.   They eat it because the server doesn’t offer to have them cooked more.   My table begins asking me questions like “Why did you move to Vegas” – I tell them I will be right back and pretend another table flagged me down.   I come back when their plates are ready to be cleared.

My table asks for both checks.   Two guys each take one and give me their credit cards.   They each tip around 12% – fair enough.

The truth is 12% is exactly the tip we were expecting and aiming for.   When people refuse to pay 18% before service has even begun we know that what they really want isn’t 18% service but 10-12% service.   That is exactly what this table got – slower service, no side conversations, waiting for refills etc.  So if you are one of these cheap cock suckers who think you are benefiting from splitting up your large party you aren’t.   You are simply letting your server know that you expect less service and expect to pay less for it.   Fair enough.