Waiting In Vegas

Like every other restaurant in the world, there are times when our business dies down and people are allowed to leave early. This is generally based on a “first-come, first-serve” basis.  Even with this though, there are always fights over who gets to leave first because the truly lazy people come in early and immediately put their name on the list before anyone else gets a chance to.  Here is what happened last night as a result of this system:

Token and I both work exactly the same days.  Every single day I have to put up with his constant whining about wanting to go home early.  If he isn’t the first one on the list he is prone to temper tantrums and begs to go first.  Sometimes he even attempts to make the manager let him leave early by telling them how tired he is and how much he has to do.  He then pleads until they cave because they are sick of listening to him. Without question, he is the laziest person that I work with. You would also be hard pressed to find someone more selfish and inconsiderate.  In an effort to make him a better person, I often point out his behavior and tell him how selfish he is.  He pretends to not know what I am talking about and continues with his “me first, gimme gimme” attitude.  It is a constant battle and a strain on my energy.

Because of this, last week we made a deal that I would go home early on Sundays & Tuesdays and he could go home early the remaining three days.  This compromise was made after several weeks of fighting with him because he got to leave early every single day.  It was also debated for an hour before we both agreed to stop fighting and just select days.  On Sunday, Token came in and instead of putting his name on the list, he put mine.  This showed that he understood our agreement and was complying with it.  I told him that I was impressed and the next day when he signed the list, I tried to make sure he got to leave early.  I was optimistic that this system was going to work.

Last night was the polar opposite.  Instead of complying with our arrangement, he put his name on the list and then came to me and said “Sorry, but I have somewhere to be after work so I’m leaving first.”  When I told him that it was my day to leave early he asked me why I wanted to leave.  I told him that I only slept a few hours – he explained that he was going on a date on implied that this was more important.  I told him that he knew of our arrangement before making plans and that he  simply could’ve made plans the next day or on his day off.

Arguing with him was pissing me off because I can’t stand people who only keep their word when it’s convenient – which is exactly the kind of person he is and the reason I made this deal to begin with.  Our conversation went something like this:

Token: We didn’t sign that in blood so it doesn’t count.

Me: Are you fucking serious?  That is the most retarded thing I have ever heard.  First of all, everyone knows that an oral contract is admissible in court as long as both parties admit that they originally agreed on the terms and agree on what the terms were.  You aren’t denying the deal was made, you are just not honoring it because it no longer suits you.

Token: Well, that deal is stupid.  What if I want to make plans on those days?

Me: Why can’t you simply make plans on the other 3 days?

Token: Check this out, on those other days I come in before you so technically I can always sign the list before you so we shouldn’t count those days.

Me: So you should get to home those 3 days AND the other 2?

Token: No we should rotate those days.  You left on Sunday so now I can leave today.

Me: So… you get to leave early 4 days and I get one?  That is mighty generous of you.

Token: That’s fair.

Me: Of course you think it’s fair because it favors you.  You are so fucking selfish and inconsiderate and if you go back on this deal I will make it my mission to make you miserable.  I won’t care if I ever leave early as long as you and I are both here and you are miserable.

Token: Please don’t threaten me.

Me: I’m not threatening you – I’m just letting you know what your future holds if you fuck me over.

Token: Well I come in before you 3 of those days so I know you can’t leave early on those days anyway.

Me: I don’t need to come in before you to make you suffer. I will just have my friends, who normally don’t sign the list, sign it.  Then they will clock out and sit at the bar and drink while waiting for us both to get off at the same time.

Token: This deal doesn’t concern anyone else – just us two.  Why would you bring someone else into it?

Me: I’m not talking about the deal.  I’m talking about the consequences of you not keeping your word.  If you break your word by not honoring this deal then there is no deal.  Your a grown man and you should understand that your actions have repercussions.  I will use whatever means necessary to make you understand that by making you miserable.  Making people miserable is probably the only thing I am really good at.

Eventually, we walked away and ignored each other for the remainder of the night.  When it was time for the manager to cut the floor, she came up to me and told me I could leave.  Being an honest person, I told her that technically Token was first and I would ask him what he wanted to do.  I finished all my tables and approached him.  He started to argue with me again and I told him that I just needed to know what he wanted to do.  I also let him know that I meant everything I said earlier and that I just needed to know his choice.  Finally he said “Just fucking go, I don’t want you to make me miserable.” He purposely said it in a tone meant to evoke sympathy from me.  I said “OK.”  I finished my sidework and left.  On my way out, another server laughed and said that Token was over at the computer, cussing up a storm, saying stuff like “Fuck this, this is fucking bullshit, I should’ve left.”

A deal is a deal.

FYI: I probably would have just let him leave if he had come up to me and explained the situation – instead of just assuming that his needs are more important and purposely trying to screw me.

His life would be so much easier if he knew anything about diplomacy and didn’t have the charisma of a turd.